What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
