Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
