today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
