508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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