You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
