Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
