The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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