i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
