You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
