Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
