i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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