I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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