i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
