chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
