do herpes really smell.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
