The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
