I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
