Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
