Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize