I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize