you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
