so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
