I'm really into asian looking animals
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
