note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
