you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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