Acid is not a monday night drug
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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