At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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