So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
