He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
That's how pantless uber rides happen
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
