well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
