we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
