Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
