I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
