There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
