Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
