omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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