I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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