Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
So here I am, sexting at work.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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