You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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