He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
My feet surprised me
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