Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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