You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
