What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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