I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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