so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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