Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
