thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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