he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
