what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
