would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
