this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
