is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I want a musical about memes.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
