a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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