Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
