i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
