After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
