sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I intend to get homeless drunk
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
