idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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