Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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