yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
