ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
