and i looked up. we had an audience...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
